Don't Copy If You Can't Paste

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience. He Said : "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!" The audience was in silence and shock.
The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!"
Laughter and applause.

A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home. He was a bit foggy after a drink. He said loudly to his wife who was preparing dinner, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"
The wife went; "ah!" with shock and rage.
Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "....and I can't remember who she was!"

By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital bed nursing burns from boiling water

Moral of the story : Don't copy if you can't paste! IT MIGHT BACKFIRE ON YOU

Time To Call It A Day.....

When this happens.......retire with dignity.

The Perfect Husband

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man turns on the hands free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: 'Hello'
WOMAN: 'Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?'
MAN: 'Yes'
WOMAN: 'I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat.
It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?'
MAN: 'Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.'
WOMAN: 'I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the
New 2009 models. I saw one I really liked.'
MAN: 'How much?'
WOMAN: '$90,000'
MAN: 'OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.'
WOMAN: 'Great! Oh, and one more thing...the house I wanted last
year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000'
MAN: 'Well, go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They
will probably take it.. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand.'
WOMAN: 'OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!'
MAN: 'Bye! I love you, too.'

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at
him in astonishment, mouths agape.
He turns and asks: 'Anyone know who this phone belongs to?'

Furadan And Watermelons

The commercial vegetable market has low tolerances for insect and mite damage on edible foods. Such damage can reduce the yield and quality of produce. Sometimes a crop is rejected at market because of even small amounts of damage, cosmetic blemishes or the presence of insect parts. Another reason to control insect pests is that some of them are vectors of plant diseases, particularly viruses.
To meet stringent market requirements for vegetables, it is sometimes necessary to control insects before the crop is actually damaged. Therefore, pests must be detected early, as they enter a field. Vegetable crops should be inspected for insect pests two or three times per week to determine when to begin insecticide treatment and to properly time subsequent applications. Insecticide applications made too early may not provide the protection needed, while those made too late will not prevent crop damage. When pest problems are predictable because they occur every year, applying systemic insecticides, or spraying at susceptible crop stages, may be justified as a preventive measure.
Carbofuran is one of the most toxic carbamate pesticides. It is marketed under the trade names Furadan. It is used to control insects in a wide variety of field crops, including potatoes, corn, soybeans and watermelons.
The technical or chemical name of carbofuran is 2,3-dihydro-2,2-dimethyl-7-benzofuranyl methylcarbamate. It is a systemic insecticide, which means that the plant absorbs it through the roots, and from here the plant distributes it to all parts of the plants, including the leaves, stems, branches, flowers, fruits, etc.
Furadan is widely used by farmers.If you choose a good looking, fresh watermelon in the market, chances are you are buying a furadan-infested watermelon. It looks good, it tastes good and you will not be killed immediately.You still have time to enjoy the fresh and juicy fruits for 2-3 years and by then most parts of your living system, your kidneys, liver , intestines and others begin to malfunction.
There are other fruits to consume,so by your own choice you should stay clear of watermelons as far as you possibly can.
The next time, take a good look at the watermelon.....tell yourself.....LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING!!!!!

One Liners

Advertisement In A Long Island Shop:
Guitar, for sale........ Cheap....... . .......no strings attached.

Ad In Hospital Waiting Room:
Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!

On a bulletin board:
Success Is Relative. The more The Success, The more The Relatives.

When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking...I Gave Up Reading

My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses....
He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.

Sign In A Bar:
'Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please do Pay In Advance.'

Sign In Driving School:
If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way....

Behind Every Great Man,
There Is A Surprised Woman.

The Reason Men Lie Is Because
Women Ask too Many Questions..

Laugh And The World Laughs With You,
Snore And You sleep Alone

The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe
Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.

Sign At A Barber's Saloon In Detroit :
We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business..

Sign In A Restaurant:
All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager

Stupidity Is Not A Disability

How can Ah Beng strangle his ownself and then jump out of the window ?
The person who said so should stare at the signboard and then jump out
of the window.

Disgusting Cook

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there's a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, "Waitress, there's a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what is going on!"
So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and to his demise, he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit. He says, "That's disgusting!"
Then the waitress says, "You think that's disgusting, you should see him make donuts."

Inspiring One-Liners

1. If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry! Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!
2. Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting the lion not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.
Think about it.
3. Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!
4. Don't walk as if you rule the world, walk as if you don't care who rules the world! That's called Attitude! Keep on rocking!
5. Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!
6. He was a good man. He never smoked, never drank, had no affair. When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.
They said, he who never lived, cannot die!
8. So many options for suicide: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we choose Marriage, slow sure!
9. Only 20 percent boys have brains, rests have girlfriends!
10. All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!
11. Drinking is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru . We should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi
Now, whom to follow and which one to choose?
12. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving. Which means - it a logical statement that 90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!!

When The Opportunity Is There......

Ah Beng's Misadventures

After taking photocopies of documents, Ah Beng always compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.

Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks his picture is being taken.

What will Ah Beng do if he wants an additional white sheet of paper? (He already has one and he wants one more) He takes a photocopy of the white paper!

How did Ah Beng try to kill the bird? He threw it off a cliff.

Too Much Water Can Lead To Blindness

How To Control Your Woman

Every Man Must Have One

Punctuation Is Powerful

An English professor wrote the words :

"A woman without her man is nothing"
on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.

All of the males in the class wrote:

"A woman, without her man, is nothing."

All the females in the class wrote:

"A woman: without her, man is nothing."


Punctuation is powerful

One Way To Welcome Your Nagging MIL

Sammyy's Blunders

Famous quotes by the one and only Sammyy Velooo ..


1. Sammyy Velooo quoted on Pos Laju:-
" BESOH KIRIM, HARI INI JUGA SAMPAI "
2. Semasa krisis air:
" Semua worang diminta jangan membuang aiyerr..!"
3. Semasa memberi ucapan di pelbagai function:
"Selamat datang saudara-mara semua"
(It should have been saudara-saudari)
4. Tentang masalah social:
"Worang2 muda sekarang banyak suka hisap dade.."
5. Semasa kempen derma darah di Sg.Siput:
"marilah kita semua menderma dare."
6. "Kita akan bina roket pigi matahari"...reporter responds..
"Tapi Dato, matahari terlalu panas untuk didekati".
Sammyy responds.."Itu tade masalah..kita hantar waktu malam".....

Lady's Finger And Sugar Level Control

Please note that another name for Lady's Finger (Bhindi ) is " OKRA ".
Take two pieces of Lady's Finger (Bhindi) and remove/cut both ends of each
piece. Also put a small cut in the middle and put these two pieces in a
glass of water. Cover the glass and keep it at room temperature over
night. Early next morning, before breakfast, simply remove the two pieces of Lady's
Finger (bhindi) from the glass and drink that water.
Keep doing it on daily basis. Within two weeks, you will see remarkable results in reduction of your SUGAR level.

Papayas

These wonderful fruits are praised by nutritionists for the high content in different kinds of vitamins, both hydrosoluble and liposoluble, such as vitamin A, C and E.
Papayas also contain several carotenoids, flavonoids, folates and trace minerals that react synergistically to provide DNA-protecting effects, which are directly linked to decreased risks of developing cancer and cardiovascular diseases.

Ebony And Ivory

Felony and Bribery, live together in perfect harmony
Side by side on my piano keyboard, oh lord, why don't we
We all know,that people are the same wherever we go
There is good and bad, in everyone
We learn to live, we learn to give
Each other what we need to survive, together alive.

Ah Beng's Theory On English Spelling

Aoccdrnig to Ah Beng's theroy on Enlgish, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by itslef but the wrod as a wlohe.
I think all of us can understand what Ah Beng wrote above. So he must be right. So Ah Beng can be quite clever after all.

Single Or Married

Ah Beng was with his American and English friends at a bar in New York. The bartender asks, “What would you like sir ?”
The American replied "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE."
The Englishman replied : "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE."
The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, "And what about you , Sir?"
Ah Beng replies: " Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED."

Bitter Gourd

Health Benefits

Few other fruits/vegetables offer medicinal properties for these ailments like bitter melon does.

Blood disorders: Bitter gourd juice is highly beneficial for treating blood disorders like blood boils and itching due to toxemia. Mix 2 ounces of fresh bitter gourd juice with some lime juice. Sip it slowly on an empty stomach daily for between four and six months and see improvement in your condition.

Cholera: In early stages of cholera, take two teaspoonfuls juice of bitter gourd leaves, mix with two teaspoonfuls white onion juice and one teaspoonful lime juice. Sip this concoction daily till you get well.

Diabetes mellitus: Bitter melon contains a hypoglycemic compound
(a plant insulin) that is highly beneficial in lowering sugar levels in blood and urine. Bitter melon juice has been shown to significantly improve glucose tolerance without increasing blood insulin levels.

Energy: Regular consumption of bitter gourd juice has been proven to improve energy and stamina level. Even sleeping patterns have been shown to be improved/stabilized.

Eye problems: The high beta-carotene and other properties in bitter gourd makes it one of the finest vegetable-fruit that help alleviate eye problems and improving eyesight.

Hangover: Bitter melon juice may be beneficial in the treatment of a hangover for its alcohol intoxication properties. It also help cleanse and repair and nourish liver problems due to alcohol consumption.

Immune booster: This bitter juice can also help to build your immune system and increase your body's resistance against infection.

Piles: Mix three teaspoonfuls of juice from bitter melon leaves with a glassful of buttermilk. Take this every morning on empty stomach for about a month and see an improvement to your condition. To hasten the healing, use the paste of the roots of bitter melon plant and apply over the piles.

Psoriasis: Regular consumption of this bitter juice has also been known to improve psoriasis condition and other fungal infections like ring-worm and athletes feet.

Respiratory disorders: Take two ounces of fresh bitter melon juice and mix with a cup of honey diluted in water. Drink daily to improve asthma, bronchitis and pharyngitis.

Toxemia: Bitter gourd contains beneficial properties that cleanses the blood from toxins. Sip two teaspoonfuls of the juice daily to help cleanse the liver. Also helpful in ridding jaundice for the same reasons.

Curry Leaves

Watermelon And Furadan

We all love watermelons right? It is a must as dessert at weddings and birthdays, or at the 5-star hotel buffets. But do you realize that WATERMELON IS DANGEROUS?
This is because the watermelon planters put Furadan, a powerful insecticide (a poison), into the soil before planting the watermelon to kill and keep away insects, especially ants. Experts confirm that Furadan is active for one whole year (12 months), and is most powerful and effective during the first 90 days. The problem is this: The watermelons mature and are picked after 55 days, when the Furadan is still powerful, and a lot of it is INSIDE THE WATERMELONS! Meaning the watermelon is filled with poison!Furadan especially DAMAGES THE KIDNEYS the organs which have to filter pollution from the blood!
From now on I will stick to the bananas and papayas, for the sake of my poor kidneys, thank you!

April Fool

Church Signboard

9/11, If Ever Again

The So-Called Theory Of Evolution

Never Mess With Women

A Punjabi lawyer working in UK wrote to his wife in India...

Dear Sunita Darling,
I can't send you my salary this month because the global market crisis has
affected my Company's performance, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are my sweetheart, please adjust.


Your loving husband,
JITA SINGH



His wife replied...


TINKU KE PAPPA ,

Thanks for the 100 kisses, Below is the list of expenses I paid with the Kisses...:

1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.

2. The electricity man agreed not to disconnect only after 7 kisses.

3. Your landlord Balkar Singh comes every day to take 2 or 3 kisses instead of the monthly rent.

4. Supermarket owner Jaswant Singh did not accept kisses only, so I gave him other items, I hope you understand..

5. Miscellaneous expenses 40 kisses.

Please don't worry about me, I still have a balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can survive the month using this balance...
Shall I plan the same for the next month?

Your Sweet Heart,
Kichi


NEVER MESS WITH WOMEN

Cuts In Subsidies

Cuts In Subsidies = Corruption + Scandals + Inefficient governance

Fun Toilets

A Funny Exam Answer

Murphy's Lesser Known Laws

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Bodoh Sombong

Chong : I took a H1N1 test and the results were negative.

Ali : Me too, I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

The Difference Between Women And Men

Typical Chinese

A Chinese man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to China on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Chinese man hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out.
The Loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Chinese for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the Chinese returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5, 000.The Chinese replies:
"Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there safely when I return ?"

Mr Paul's At It Again

Dumb Drivers

Two rich men were talking over coffee one day and one of them said to the other one "Hey I tell you my driver is really stupid... you don't believe?
Let me show you." and he called his driver Ah Beng over and said "Ah Beng, here is a 10 dollar note, go to the car showroom and buy me a Mercedes." to which Ah Beng replied, "Yes Sir! right away!" and rushed off to the showroom.
The rich man turned to his friend and said, "See, I told you he was stupid." The other rich man said, "That's nothing, you want to see stupid, I will show you stupid." and he called his driver, Ali. "Ali, go home now and check to see if I'm at home." to which Ali said, "Yes Sir, right away Sir." and ran home. "See what I told you? He doesn't even have enough brains to know that I cannot be at home if I am here."
Later on, the two drivers met on the road. Ah Beng said to Ali, "Eh, you know my boss is sooo stupid. He gave me 10 dollars and ask me to go to the car showroom and buy him a Mercedes..... Doesn't he know that today is Sunday lah, the showroom is closed!"
Ali replied, "You think he is stupid ah? My boss lagi worse,he asked me to go home to check if he is at home.... He got hand phone what,can just call up to check lah!!!!"

One Costly Silly Mistake

Long time ago, a rich Singapore tycoon wanted to know how happy a man could be if he was given one wish.
He paid 3 people to test out his experiment:
The rules were:
1. Each person could only have 1 wish.
2. They will be left on a deserted island for 30 years.
3. Food, but not liquor would be provided.

The first contestant, Billy Klinton (USA) asked for the 30 prettiest PLAYBOY centrefolds: " So I can make the most beautiful babies in the world."

The second contestant, Jon Mayjor (UK) said, "I want 30 years' supply of booze."

The last contestant ,Ah Beng (Singapore) said," I want 30 years' supply of Saa-lim (Salem) cigarettes so I can smoke until I song-song"

30 years later, the 3 contestants came back for a press conference.

Billy had with him 200 chidren and 30 estranged women. He remarked, " It has been a long sexual experience for me and I was wondering whether anyone care to buy a child. I will even throw in the mother for free !"

Jon, hanging on to a bottle of beer, was suffering from a hangover but he managed to utter these words. " God save the Beer ! The Queen can drink sea water. "

The last contestant, Ah Beng, hugging onto cartons of Salem shouted, "Ni na beh! Buay kee gia lighter!!!" (@#$*! Forgot to bring lighter!)

Speed Matters

A Chinese, a Malay and an Indian were on a plane about to crash.
They have 4 seconds to jump out of the plane before it crashes.
They decided to count to three and jump out of the plane.
However, only the Chinese survived. Why?

Answer:

Chinese: yi , er , san (out of the plane in 3 seconds)

Malay: sa-tu , du-a , CRASH!!
Indian: on-ne , ren-ne , CRASH!!

In The End, Pay Also

One day, the Malaysian government suddenly asks the people to hand in RM10,000 and give them 3 days to pay up.

Day 1
Indian: Find money from relatives.
Malay: Do nothing.
Chinese: KNLBCCB, KNS @#%*(*&(#@%^(*&(@, stupid thing they come up. I am NOT going to pay it. I sue them only they know. (In his house.)

Day 2
Indian: Find money from friends.
Malay: Do nothing.
Chinese: KNLBCCB, KNS @#%&(*)(*#@%*&)(*)@#^#, stupid thing they come up. I am NOT going to pay it. I sue them only they know. (In kopitiam.)

Day 3
Indian: Queueing up at the department to pay up the money.
Malay: Do nothing.
Chinese: KNLBCCB, KNS @#%&(*)(*#@%*&)(*)@#^#, stupid thing they come up. (At the government department, queueing up to pay the money.)

Beverage For Thought

If you're addicted to work, you're a workaholic,

When addicted to alcohol, you're an alcoholic,

What if you're addicted to Horlicks?

Radio @#$% Up

One more radio @#$% up. DJ Yasmin Yusuff used to host this programme that asked callers to describe the common name for scientific terms that she dishes out. So one day this Chinese woman calls up and excitedly asks Yasmin to bring it on. So Yasmin said "Sodium Chloride" (which is commonly known as salt) or Natrium Klorida in BM. So poor aunty doesn't have a clue, she kept asking Yasmin for clues.
Yasmin: "It's something you commonly find in the kitchen"
Aunty: "Err, I still not sure la, can pleez give me one more clue ah?"
Yasmin: "Ok, one more and that's it. It's something you put on your husband's eggs in the morning"
Aunty: (Shouts) Ah! I think I know, I think I know! Is it...........TALCUM POWDER??"

Mind Boggling

Jaga Singh

There's this Jaga Singh who was working for a multi-millionare as a night guard at his house. One day, while the millionaire was driving out to catch an early morning flight to conclude a business deal, Jaga Singh ran out from the guard house and stopped the millionaire's car just right in front of the gate.
He said 'Sir..Sir.. are you going to board a plane?' 'Yes, why?' asked the millionaire. 'You had better cancel the trip. You see, last night I dreamt about the plane going to crash.'
Curious over the early morning fright that Jaga Singh had given, the
multimillionaire decided to cancel his trip. 'You better be damn right for this is a million dollar deal.'
The following day, there were news reports that the plane which the millionaire was supposed to take had indeed crash landed. ! 'Thank God I cancelled the trip,.' the rich man said. Realising that what Jaga Singh had said had come true, he called the Singh to see him.
When the guard was called that morning, the millionaire gave him his salary and FIRED him. WHY ?


Think first....

Use your brains,

Use your brains!!!!!

Still no idea??









Come on...... it is very easy....









Still drawing a blank????

Just imagine you are the Singh and you have saved your boss's
life........

OK-lah, since you do not want to 'use your brains' like Jaga Singh
before you talk to your boss..........

Just scroll down for the answer...












ANSWER

Jaga Singh was supposed to guard the house at night ...NOT to Sleep
and Dream all night!!!!!

So, GO BACK TO WORK!! and Don't try to save your boss's life!! It's not worth it !!!

Blonde Jokes

FLORIDA OR MOON
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon ?' The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?'

RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side ?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'

DOGS
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that ?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs' !

BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, 'We were the first in space !'
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon !'
The Blonde said, 'So what ? We're going to be the first on the sun!' The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up !' said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night !'

New Stock Market Terminology

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER -- What current conditions have made me.
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock. ( He hasn't got a prediction right yet, and says its the companies who are at fault.)
STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use except by oil companies.

Stop Eating Dried Squid

Cadmium has no constructive purpose in the human body and is extremely toxic even in low concentrations.Has detrimental effects on the liver and kidneys.

Wedding Dance

A Saudi couple, Ahmed and Layla, preparing for their wedding, meet with their
Mullah for counseling.The Mullah asks if they have any last questions before they leave.Ahmed asks,"We realize it's tradition in Islam for men to dance with men,and women to dance with women. But, at our wedding reception, we'd like your
permission to dance together."
"Absolutely not," says the Mullah. "It's immoral. Men and women always dance
separately."
"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"
"No," answered the Mullah, "It's forbidden in Islam."
"Well, okay," says Ahmed, "What about sex? Can we finally have sex?"
"Of course!" replies the Mullah, "Allah Akbar! (GOD is great) Sex is OK
within marriage, to have children!"
"What about different positions?" asks the man.
"Allah Akbar! Mafi Mushkila (no problem)," says the Mullah.
"Woman on top?" Ahmed asks.
"Sure," says the Mullah. "Allah Akbar. Go for it!"
"Doggy style?"
"Sure! Allah Akbar!"
"On the kitchen table?"
"Yes, yes! Allah Akbar!"
"Can I do it with all my four wives together on rubber sheets with a bottle
of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, leather harnesses, a bucket of honey and
a porno video?"
"You may indeed.. Allah Akbar!"
"Can we do it standing up?"
"No, absolutely not!" says the Mullah.
"Why not?" asks the man.
"Because that could lead to dancing!"

Dispute Between Neighbours

Dispute Between Neighbours - this is a true story...

A town councillor in Wales, Mark Easton, had a beautiful view of the mountains, until a new neighbour purchased the land below his house and built a new home.
The new home was 18 inches higher than the planning dept had approved, so Mark Easton, mad about his lost view, went to the local authority to make sure they enforced the roof line height.The new neighbour had to drop the roof height, at great expense.
Recently, Mark Easton called the planning dept, and informed them that his new neighbour had installed some vents on the side of his new property.
Mark didn't like the look of these vents and asked the planning dept to investigate.
When they went to Mark's home to see what the vents looked like, this is what they found...
The Local Authority said the vents can stay since there is no planning law referring to shutter design.

Marina Bay Sands Singapore

Infinity pool 55 STOREYS above ground opens in Singapore in a dazzling new £4bn resort.

If you fancy a dip in this pool, you'll need a head for heights - it's 55 storeys up. But swimming to the edge won't be quite as risky as it looks. While the water in the infinity pool seems to end in a sheer drop, it actually spills into a catchment area where it is pumped back into the main pool. At three times the length of an Olympic pool and 650ft up, it is the largest outdoor pool in the world at that height. It features in the impressive, boat-shaped 'SkyPark' perched atop the three towers that make up the world's most expensive hotel, the £4billion Marina Bay Sands development in Singapore.

Fast Hands

Interesting Observation

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL?.

2 The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING?

3 The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.


4 The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.

5 The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.


6 The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.


THE AMAZING CONCLUSION:
The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

How To Remove A Bottle Cork

Benefits Of Consuming Fresh Pineapples

Fresh Pineapple Has Many Benefits....

The pineapple is a member of the bromeliad family. It is extremely rare that bromeliads produce edible fruit.
The pineapple is the only available edible bromeliad today. It is a multiple fruit. One pineapple is actually made up of dozens of individual flowerettes that grow together to form the entire fruit.
Each scale on a pineapple is evidence of a separate flower. Pineapples stop ripening the minute they are picked.
No special way of storing them will help ripen them further. Color is relatively unimportant in determining ripeness.
Choose your pineapple by smell. If it smells fresh, tropical and sweet, it will be a good fruit. The more scales on the pineapple, the sweeter and juicier the taste.
After you cut off the top, you can plant it. It should grow much like a sweet potato will. This delicious fruit is not only sweet and tropical; it also offers many benefits to our health.
Pineapple is a remarkable fruit. We find it enjoyable because of its lush, sweet and exotic flavor, but it may also be one of the most healthful foods available today. If we take a more detailed look at it, we will find that pineapple is valuable for easing indigestion, arthritis or sinusitis. The juice has an anthelmintic effect; it helps get rid of intestinal worms.
Let's look at how pineapple affects other conditions.
Pineapple is high in manganese, a mineral that is critical to development of strong bones and connective tissue.
A cup of fresh pineapple will give you nearly 75% of the recommended daily amount. It is particularly helpful to older adults, whose bones tend to become brittle with age.
Bromelain, a proteolytic enzyme, is the key to pineapple's value.
Proteolytic means "breaks down protein", which is why pineapple is known to be a digestive aid. It helps the body digest proteins more efficiently.
Bromelain is also considered an effective anti-inflammatory. Regular ingestion of at least one half cup of fresh pineapple daily is purported to relieve painful joints common to osteoarthritis. It produces mild pain relief. In Germany, bromelain is approved as a post-injury medication because it is thought to reduce inflammation and swelling.
Orange juice is a popular liquid for those suffering from a cold because it is high in Vitamin C.
Fresh pineapple is not only high in this vitamin, but because of the bromelain, it has the ability to reduce mucous in the throat.
If you have a cold with a productive cough, add pineapple to your diet. It is commonly used in Europe as a post-operative measure to cut mucous after certain sinus and throat operations. Those individuals who eat fresh pineapple daily report fewer sinus problems related to allergies. In and of itself, pineapple has a very low risk for allergies.
Pineapple is also known to discourage blood clot development. This makes it a valuable dietary addition for frequent fliers and others who may be at risk for blood clots.
An old folk remedy for morning sickness is fresh pineapple juice. It really works! Fresh juice and some nuts first thing in the morning often make a difference. It's also good for a healthier mouth. The fresh juice discourages plaque growth.

Magician Walking Inside The Dining Table

Extended Trick

Quitting Smoking?

Be Professional In Our Line Of Duty

Read this in the papers today and thought of sharing it with you.
The question: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
The answer : A good lawyer knows the law.A great lawyer knows the judge.
Moral of the story : Be professional in our line of duty, that's all.

Dragging Her Off The Bench

Awesome Magic Show

Football After 40

JukeBox Music

This is a great site for music of yesteryears.JukeBox music to suit your taste and according to the year of choice.

http://upchucky.com/

Enjoy yourselves.

Removing The Bottle Cork

Italian Speaking English

WORLD CUP TRIVIA

Why football is played for 45 minutes in each half?

Those who thought of this must have lots of time.....

Why people play football for 45 minutes, not 30 minutes or 1 hour?

Even the sports scientist and some of the senior players could not give the
right answer.
In that confusing situation one person came up with a reasonable answer.

He said......."The reason people play this game for 45 minutes is...

There are 2 teams and there are 11 players in each team.
Each player brings his own "2 balls"
So in total there are 44 balls.
There is one ball on the ground itself. Thus the grand total is 45.

Question Answered !!!

Sometimes there is extra time of 2 mins which is the referee's balls!
 
 

Bumper Stickers For The Retired

David Copperfield

You Type , It Speaks!!

You Type...it speaks... This is interesting. Try it and see!! Turn up your volume.
She will say anything you type.

http://www.oddcast.com/home/demos/tts/tts_example.php?sitepal

When you move the mouse around, her eyes will follow the pointer.
When you write something in the left space and then click on 'Say it,' she says it!
You can also change persons doing the talking and the accent in the language they speak. Technology! Wow !! Type in something and she'll say it.

Where Is The Food?

Recently, at the office, a bunch of like-minded people decided to pool their resources and give their fellow colleagues and clients a buffet-styled lunch treat.
All was well, gay and merry.Why not, since it was a free lunch to many, and not having to dig deep into the pockets.I would rate the food an 8 on a scale of 10.
This merry scene was somewhat marred by a group of hungry ghosts who even had the premeditated thoughts of tiffining the food back for a second helping.Disgusting, you may call it, but it actually happened.This despicable act not only spoilt my appetite, it sort of deprived others of a decent helping.
Moral of the story: Be sensible, practice thoughtfulness and show some class in our
everyday acts.

Fine Drawing

Human Artistry

The Hen's Party

Magic Show

Acampamento

Singlish

(Turn on the speakers for a good laugh)

Top Management

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me Sir, can you help me? I promised a friend, I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am." The man below replied,"You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30
feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer", said the lady balloonist.
"I am", replied the man. "How did you know?"
"Well", answered the lady in the balloon, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip even more."
The engineer below responded, "You must be in Top Management."
"I am", replied the lady balloonist, "but, how did you know?"
"Well", said the Engineer, "You don't know where you are, or where you're going. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you, to solve your problems."

Newspapers Of The World

WHOEVER CAME UP WITH THIS IS REALLY GOOD..
Just put your mouse on a city anywhere in the world and the newspaper headlines pop up... Double click and the page gets larger.... you can read the entire paper on some if you click on the right place. You can spend forever here.

http://www.newseum.org/todaysfrontpages/flash/

AND, this site changes every day with the publication of new editions of the paper. Enjoy yourselves.

Gays

Recycling Tip

Shadow Play

(Turn On The Volume Of Your Speakers For Better Effects)

Wise Words

As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to "make a difference" in the world. It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other "seniors" who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither.
Harold Schlumberg is such a person:
QUOTE FROM HAROLD
I've often been asked, 'What do you old folks do now that you're retired?'
Well...I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background and one of the things I enjoy most is converting beer, wine and vodka into urine.
I do it every day and I really enjoy it.

Sarcastic Wife

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?”
“Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”

Do Not Interfere When The Husband Is Talking

A husband storms into his house with a duck under his arm.
“Here’s the pig I’ve been shagging!!!” he says.
His wife says, “thats a duck you idiot!.”
And he says, “wasnt talking to you, was talking to the duck.”

Women's Football

MyPhone

Parking Cock Up

Ah Beng couldn't find a parking lot, but there was a whole row of cars docked illegally along the roadside. So he parked his vehicle behind the last one, thinking it was alright.Five minutes later, he rushed out to plead with the Parking Warden who had suddenly appeared to issue him a ticket. The warden asked Ah Beng, "An zua lu di jit-dao luan luan par chia?" (Why you anyhow park here?)
Ah Beng replied, "Aiyah, gua kua ee lang par, teh lang par lor ..."
(I saw them park follow them park lor)
Astounded, the warden gasped, "Ha? Simi lum par teh lum par?"
(What testicles squeezing testicles? Trust us, it works better in Hokkien...)

Roller Coaster ShakeOut

Giant Sinkhole On Downtown Guatemala City After A Tropical Storm

Hokkien Opera

Look, Don't You Ever Dare Complain About Your Job.

Why The Stadium Is Empty

3-D Shot

Ah Beng Took Part In A Quiz

During the Q&A segment, the host asks :“Name a drink that begins with the letter ‘G’
The crowd shouts : “Gin! Gin!”Others exclaim : “No, its Grape Juice!”
Another smart aleck yells : “Alamak, Gatorade!”Host : “Quiet please.”
Ah Beng laughs hysterically like a hyena before replying, “C’mon man, you think I need their help? I got more oliginal answer, Guni !” (milk in hokkien)

My New Dictionary

Blonde Paint Job

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do."Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money."You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Two Zebras Pondering

Two zebras are talking and one asks the other, "Am I black with white stripes or white with black stripes?" The other replies, "Well I don't know. You should pray to God about that and ask him." So that night he did and God replied, "You are what you are." The next day he said to the other zebra, "I still don't understand what I am because God just said, You are what you are." The second zebra responds, "You must be white with black stripes or else God would have said, Yo is what yo is."

The Ultimate Drum Kit

Obscene Cloud

Awesome 3-D Drawing

Banta And The Pair Of Shoes Saga

Banta owned two pairs of boots, one with thick soles and the other with thin soles.
He climbed out of bed one morning and he made the mistake of putting one of each of the boots on, which made walking very uncomfortable. 'How strange! How is it that my legs aren't the same length today?' Banta asked himself in surprise.
A friend passing by told him, 'Oy, Banta, your boots aren't a pair.'
Hearing this Banta hurried home to change his boots. However, when he got home and saw the other boots, Banta thought for a moment and said to himself, 'There's no need to change. These other two are not a pair either. One is thick and the other thin.'

Banta And The Clock

Banta is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Banta agrees.
'Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder.' The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours , Banta figures he has been made a fool by that man.
On the next day Banta is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock. 'Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder.'
Banta gives him the thousand and says, 'Oye, I am not a fool. This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder.'

Banta And The Lottery Ticket

Banta finds himself in considerable trouble. His business has gone bust and he has serious financial concerns. He's so desperate that he decides to ask God for help. He goes into the temple and begins to pray:'Oh God, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto.'Lotto night arrives and somebody else wins it.
Banta goes back to the temple, 'God, please let me win the lotto, I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well.'
Lotto night comes and Banta still has no luck!! Back to the temple he goes.
'God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won't you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order?'
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the sky parts open and the Banta is confronted by the voice of the Lord, 'OYE BANTA, YOU HAVE TO BUY THE TICKET FIRST.'

The Beggar

Once a man was waiting for a taxi. A beggar came along and asked him for some money.
The man ignored him.. But being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him. The man became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with some money.
Suddenly an idea struck him. He told the beggar, 'I do not have money, but if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you.'
'I would have bought a cup of tea', replied the beggar.
The man said, 'Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea'.
He then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar.
The beggar told, 'I don't smoke as it is injurious to health.
' The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told the beggar, 'Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. Its really good'.
The beggar refused by saying, 'Alcohol muddles the brain and damages the liver'.
The man smiled again. He told the beggar, 'I am going to the race course.
Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place bets.
If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone'. As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, 'Sorry sir, I can't come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit.' Suddenly the man felt relieved!! And asked the beggar to come to his home with him.
Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of receiving at least something from the man.. But he still had his doubts and asked the man, 'Why do you want me to go to your house with you'.
The man replies ............ ......... .........
' I always wanted to show my wife how a man with no Bad habits looks like' .

The Sacrifice

10 Sardars and a girl were hanging below a rescue helicopter on a rope.
The pilot said that one must leave because of overloading and the rope will give way anytime. The girl said that she will sacrifice herself.That was when the sardars started clapping.

April Fool

Sardar got onto a bus on 1st April.When the conductor asked for the ticket, he gave Rs.10/- , took the ticket and said," April fool, I have a pass".

Three Is Equal To Four

Theorem: 3=4
Proof:

Suppose:
a + b = c

This can also be written as:
4a - 3a + 4b - 3b = 4c - 3c

After reorganizing:
4a + 4b - 4c = 3a + 3b - 3c

Take the constants out of the brackets:
4 * (a+b-c) = 3 * (a+b-c)

Remove the same term left and right:
4 = 3

There's A Solution To Every Problem

Eating Garlic Is Bad

Portuguese Words Of The Day

The teacher told Nuno to use the following words in a sentence.
1. *Cheese*
Nuno replies: Maria likes me, but cheese fat.
2. *Mushroom*
When all my family get in the car, there’s not mushroom.
3. *Shoulder*
My fren wanted 2 become a citizen but she didn’t know how to read so I shoulder.
4. * Texas *
My fren always Texas me when I’m not home wondering where I’m at!
5. *Herpes*
Me and my fren ordered pizza. I got mine piece and she got herpes.
6. *July*
Ju told me ju were going to tha store and July to me! Julyer!
7. *Rectum*
I had 2 cars but my wife rectum!

W T F

100% At Work

My Wife Is Trying To Kill Me

One day, an immigrant from Poland entered a New York City Police Precinct to report that his American wife was planning to kill him. The police officer on duty was intrigued by this and he asked, "How sure are ya that she is gonna kill ya? Did she threaten to kill ya?"
"No," replied the nervous immigrant.
"Did ya hear her tell someone else that she's gonna kill ya?"
"No."
"Did someone tell ya that your wife is gonna kill ya?"
"No."
"Then why in God's name did ya think she's gonna kill ya?" asked the exasperated police officer.
"Because I found bottle on dresser and I think she's gonna poison me!" He handed the police officer the suspect bottle.
The police officer took one look at the label on the bottle and started to laugh out loud. The immigrant became indignant and said, "What so funny? Can't you see the label on bottle said, Polish Remover?"

The Female's Brain

Scientists have finally discovered what is wrong with the female brain:
On the left side, there is nothing right, and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Passing Gas

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and noticed that everybody was staring at me....
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod

The Bank Robbers

Some not too smart gangsters decide to rob a bank. After several days of planning they agree on the best plan. The next day they get to work and are able to get into the bank relatively easy thanks to their planning. Once inside the main vault they discover one wall is full of safety deposit boxes and start to work on them immediately. They drill and pry open the first box only to find a small container of vanilla pudding inside.

The Head Gangster says, "Okay, well, at least we can eat it." So they eat the pudding. They drill and pry open up the second safety deposit box and there sits another pudding. They decide to devour it too.

Determined to find the goods, the process continues for the rest of the night until all the safety deposit boxes have been opened. They didn't find any money or jewelry in any of the boxes. Disappointed the head gangster said, "Well, at least they left something for us to eat."

The next day, while listening to the news they hear:"Yesterday the largest SPERM bank in the USA was robbed by an unknown group of people....."

IRK Toothpaste

Working With The FBI

The phone rings at FBI headquarters. "Hello?"

"Hello, is this the FBI?"

"Yes. What do you want?"

"I'm calling to report my neighbor Adrian Thibodeaux! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."

"Thank you very much for the call, sir."

The next day, the FBI agents descend on Thibodeaux's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swear at Thibodeaux and leave.

The phone rings at Thibodeaux's house. "Hey, Adrian! Did the FBI come?"
"Yeah!"

"Did they chop your firewood?"

"Yep" "Great, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed."

Good day!

Still Drink Beer?

Scientists for the department of Health in Canada have suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.
The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women.
To test the theory, 100 men were fed six pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing and refused to apologize when wrong.

No further testing is planned.

P Ramlee

Philosophy Of Life

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican fishing village. A tourist complimented the local fishermen on the quality of their fish and asked how long it took him to catch them. "Not very long." they answered in unison. "Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" The fishermen explained that their small catches were sufficient to meet their needs and those of their families. "But what do you do with the rest of your time?" "We sleep late, fish a little, play with our children, and take siestas with our wives. In the evenings, we go into the village to see our friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs. We have a full life."
The tourist interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat." "And after that?" "With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City , Los Angeles , or even New York City ! [ From there you can direct your huge new enterprise." "How long would that take?" "Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years." replied the tourist. "And after that?" "Afterwards? Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting, " answered the tourist, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!" "Millions? Really? And after that?" asked the fishermen.. "After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."
"With all due respect sir, but that's exactly what we are doing now. So what's the point wasting twenty-five years?" asked the Mexicans.
And the moral of this story is: Know where you're going in life... you may already be there.

Husband Training

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beaches in Montego Bay, Jamaica .Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. People would say, 'What a peaceful & loving couple.' The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage. The husband replied: 'Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America '. We visited the Grand Canyon, in Arizona , And we took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon, by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, 'That's once.' We proceeded a little further and her horse stumbled again.. Again my wife quietly said, 'That's twice.' We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for the third time my wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead. I SHOUTED at her, 'What's wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that, are you $%#@! crazy?' She looked at ME, and quietly said, 'That's once.' And from that moment on.... 'We have lived happily ever after.'

The Smart Dog

The Indian With One Testicle

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!'
The word got around and nobody called him that any more.
Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.' He
jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and
all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.
The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do. Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away. Yellow Bird , who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.' Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!


Why ???


OH, come on... take a guess !!!




Think about it !!!







Everyone knows...

You can't kill Two Birds with OneStone!!!

Bad Day

Mental Case