Six Golden Rules For F***ing

SIX GOLDEN RULES For F***ing: 1. F***ing once a week is good for your health, but its harmful if done every day. 2. F***ing gives proper relaxation for your mind & body. 3. F***ing refreshes you. 4. After F***ing dont eat too much; go for more liquids. 5. Try to do f***ing in bed cause it can save your valuable energy. 6. F***ing can even reduce your cholesterol level. SO, REMEMBER ... FASTING is good for your health. May God cleanse your Dirty Mind !!!

Wife Fear

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem . While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land , for $150." The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home. The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?" The man replied, "Long ago a man called Jesus Christ died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."

What Confucius Did Not Say

CONFUCIUS DID NOT SAY... Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient. Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly. Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent. Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts. Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion. Man who runs in front of car gets tired, man who runs behind car gets exhausted. War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left. It takes many nails to build a crib but only one screw to fill it. Man who drives like hell is bound to get there. Man who stands on toilet is high on pot. Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs. Finally CONFUCIUS DID SAY. . ... A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!