Advertisement In A Long Island Shop:
Guitar, for sale........ Cheap....... . .......no strings attached.
Ad In Hospital Waiting Room:
Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!
On a bulletin board:
Success Is Relative. The more The Success, The more The Relatives.
When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking...I Gave Up Reading
My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses....
He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.
Sign In A Bar:
'Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please do Pay In Advance.'
Sign In Driving School:
If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way....
Behind Every Great Man,
There Is A Surprised Woman.
The Reason Men Lie Is Because
Women Ask too Many Questions..
Laugh And The World Laughs With You,
Snore And You sleep Alone
The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe
Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.
Sign At A Barber's Saloon In Detroit :
We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business..
Sign In A Restaurant:
All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager
Welcome, you have reached the right destination if it's all about laughter that you've been seeking. Laughter is a good medicine, though not necessaryly the best.This blog's all about jokes, funny videos, music and the good vibes. Go ahead, make your day, laugh your hearts out, enjoy the video clips, it's my pleasure.And, may you have a pleasant day too.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Stupidity Is Not A Disability
How can Ah Beng strangle his ownself and then jump out of the window ?
The person who said so should stare at the signboard and then jump out
of the window.
Disgusting Cook
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there's a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, "Waitress, there's a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what is going on!"
So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and to his demise, he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit. He says, "That's disgusting!"
Then the waitress says, "You think that's disgusting, you should see him make donuts."
A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there's a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, "Waitress, there's a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what is going on!"
So, the waitress takes him back where the cook is and to his demise, he sees the cook take the meat patty and flatten it under his arm pit. He says, "That's disgusting!"
Then the waitress says, "You think that's disgusting, you should see him make donuts."
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Inspiring One-Liners
1. If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry! Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!
2. Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting the lion not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.
Think about it.
3. Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!
4. Don't walk as if you rule the world, walk as if you don't care who rules the world! That's called Attitude! Keep on rocking!
5. Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!
6. He was a good man. He never smoked, never drank, had no affair. When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.
They said, he who never lived, cannot die!
8. So many options for suicide: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we choose Marriage, slow sure!
9. Only 20 percent boys have brains, rests have girlfriends!
10. All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!
11. Drinking is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru . We should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi
Now, whom to follow and which one to choose?
12. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving. Which means - it a logical statement that 90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!!
2. Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting the lion not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.
Think about it.
3. Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!
4. Don't walk as if you rule the world, walk as if you don't care who rules the world! That's called Attitude! Keep on rocking!
5. Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!
6. He was a good man. He never smoked, never drank, had no affair. When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.
They said, he who never lived, cannot die!
8. So many options for suicide: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we choose Marriage, slow sure!
9. Only 20 percent boys have brains, rests have girlfriends!
10. All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!
11. Drinking is our biggest enemy- Jawaharlal Nehru . We should learn to love our enemies- Mahatma Gandhi
Now, whom to follow and which one to choose?
12. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving. Which means - it a logical statement that 90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!!
Monday, August 9, 2010
Ah Beng's Misadventures
After taking photocopies of documents, Ah Beng always compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.
Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks his picture is being taken.
What will Ah Beng do if he wants an additional white sheet of paper? (He already has one and he wants one more) He takes a photocopy of the white paper!
How did Ah Beng try to kill the bird? He threw it off a cliff.
Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks his picture is being taken.
What will Ah Beng do if he wants an additional white sheet of paper? (He already has one and he wants one more) He takes a photocopy of the white paper!
How did Ah Beng try to kill the bird? He threw it off a cliff.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Monday, August 2, 2010
Punctuation Is Powerful
An English professor wrote the words :
"A woman without her man is nothing"
on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.
All of the males in the class wrote:
"A woman, without her man, is nothing."
All the females in the class wrote:
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."
Punctuation is powerful
"A woman without her man is nothing"
on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.
All of the males in the class wrote:
"A woman, without her man, is nothing."
All the females in the class wrote:
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."
Punctuation is powerful
Sunday, August 1, 2010
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